More Cereal!

So this week we've been vacationing in Germany. We've seen castles. We've played in a huge pool. We've strolled down sidewalks past painted house after painted house. We've picked more wildflowers than Jaynie had ever dreamed of in her short life. We've eaten more sausage than I cared to in my long life. We've watched cartoons and MTV in German.... Lots to blog about.

But what am I here to tell you? Simply this - my son is a genius. Today he signed for "more cereal." He did not want more yogurt, he was not all done, he wanted more cereal. So he told me. All that was missing was the "please". We'll work on that. =)

Duh.

When I take off Jonas's overnight diaper, I like to leave him naked for a while. His poor butt needs some fresh air after 12 hours in a wet diaper.

So this morning I take off the old one, give him a wipe, put him on the floor.... and he pees. Wonderful.

Ok, no big deal. I clean it up, and then (foolishly) feel confidant that he's empty and I don't have to keep that close an eye on him.

Over the next 15 min. the kid pees on the floor four times. FOUR TIMES. How is that even physically possible?

So I'm wiping the last puddle, and I'm asking him "Why, Jonas? Why? WHY are you peeing all over my floor?" and Jaynie looks at me like I'm slow and says "Uh, I think it's because he doesn't have a diaper on?"

Duh.

Sleep talking

Jaynie and I have been having some very interesting conversations lately. They always start the same - she's sleeping, suddenly she's crying, I walk in and ask what's wrong, and here are the replies....

"Who turned off the music? Why is the music stopped?" (What music?) "There was music. Very very quiet music. Is sounded like brushes." (Brushes? What kind of music do brushes make?) "It sounded like a song from Mary Poppins." (A very, very quiet song from Mary Poppins that sounded like brushes?) "Yes. Why did it stop? Who turned it off?"

"I DON'T WANT THIS NIGHTGOWN! I JUST WANT A SHIRT AND SKIRT!"

"I neeeed a drink, Mommy. Please! Please can I have a drink?" (Honey - it's the middle of the night. Go back to sleep.) "Noooooooo! I need a drink! I ate all my dinner and now I need a drink! And WHYYYY did that man eat all my chocolate?"

Poor kiddo. Dreaming about a chocolate thief? No wonder she woke up crying.

MOMEEEEEEE

I am no longer "Bob". =)

Chick Movie

Yesterday was "Mom's Day Off" (I KNOW! It was amazing! Well, actually it was like 1/2 day off, because I'm too chicken to drive long distances by myself in a foreign country and dragged the whole family with me on a shopping trip.. but that 1/2 day was great, and now I have new lotion, so it's all good.)

So I shopped, I got my eyebrows waxed (I know, I really know how to have a good time, huh?) and I (wait for it...) went to a movie! Not an animated one! It was rated PG-13, and it rocked. Music and Lyrics. Hugh Grant was even funnier in this one than in 2 Weeks Notice. (I can hear all my male readers rolling their eyes - this is exactly why this was the movie for Mom's Day Off. We left the husbands at home and just enjoyed the hell out of it. Really, girls - go see the movie. Or rent it, cause it probably is already out of American theaters.)

Later that evening, reunited with my little angels, Jaynie asks me to describe the movie to her. I tell her it's about a man named Alex who is a singer, and he meets a beautiful girl named Sophie and they write a song and fall in love and there's lots of kissing and they live happily ever after, The End.

There's a pause, and then she asks "But what about the chicks?"

Total confusion on my part. I don't even know how to ask "huh?" She goes on "Where are the chicks? What about the chicks?" and I'm like "What are you talking about?" and she says "Daddy said it was a chick movie! Where are the chicks? What did the chicks do?"

After I was done laughing, I asked her to repeat exactly what her father had said. "Pretend you are Daddy and I am Jaynie. What did he say?"

"Jaynie? Your Mommy is going kind of crazy so she needs a break. So today we will play and she will go see a chick movie. Mommy and Miss Becky are chicks, so they like chick movies... Hey! Mommy! You guys are the chicks! I forgot!"

I love this game. It's better than planting a bug on Joe. Going kind of crazy? Hmph.

Hard-headed.

Jonas likes to head-butt stuff. His sister, the sides of his crib, the mirror, the wall, a window, me, his sister.... If there's nothing around he'll put both hands in the air, make a kind-of "HiiiYAH!" noise, and whack himself on the head. I've also seen him whack himself repeatedly with a book, and this morning he was banging his own face with a remote control.

No real punchline to this post. Is this a boy thing? It reminds me of the kid in Parenthood who has the bucket over his head and is repeatedly banging against the wall (actually Jonas would probably really get a kick out of that game - maybe I should demonstrate it for him the next time I need 30 min to make dinner...)

Poop.

The following post is about poop. It's a very funny story, but at it's heart? A poop story. If you can't handle that, walk away now.

Jaynie hasn't pooped all day. I'm reading her stories before bed when a foul oder enters the room.

Me: JAYNIE! Holy cow, did you just fart?

Jaynie: Mmmhmmmm. (angelically - like she didn't just fumigate the room.)

Me: You know those poopies that haven't come out all day? I think they're ready. Go put them in the potty please.



A minute goes by and we can hear her talking in the bathroom. The phrase I keep hearing is "All right!" Assuming that she's talking to one of us, Joe goes in to check on her. He comes back, laughing, with the following story -

So I go in there and she's talking, TO THE POOP. she's saying "All right, poopies. Time to come out. Come out, poopies." And I ask her - "Who are you talking to?" and she tells me "I'm talking to my poopies. I'm telling them to come out!" So I ask "Well, what do the poopies say?" and she looks me in the eye and says...


"Dad, they're poopies. They don't say anything."


(Really, it was a ridiculous question.)