18 Month Update

First, the stats....

Weight - 26lbs, 12oz (this would explain the burning arm and sore back when she forces me to lug her around)

Height - 32 1/2 inches


Now the update. This is what Jaynie can do now....

Colors -
She knows red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple, black, white, brown, and pink. She's amazing. She constantly points stuff out to me. "Red car! Pink shirt! Purple binky!" It's incredible. The Doctor was very impressed when, during our visit, Jaynie started walking around the room and naming the colors she saw. When I asked if that was normal, she said "No, that's not normal." and gave me a look like "Wow - you're really in for it, now."


Left and Right -
Joe is teaching her Left VS Right. It was decided that he should be in charge, since I still don't know mine. It hasn't clicked for her yet that one entire side of her body is the left and the other is the right, but she's starting to memorize which is her left foot, which is her right hand, etc. So if you ask for one or the other, she'll get it right about 85% of the time. I figure she'll have this nailed by next week. (At which point, Joe informs me, she'll officially be smarter than me.)


Numbers -
Jaynie can count to ten. She can also count to three, and to five. This is important - at first she'd just rattle off onetwothreefourfivesixseveneightnineten every time. Now she's starting to be able to stop at whatever number you ask for. She's also starting to actually count things. I see her all the the time, lining up toys in a row, counting. "Ooooone. Twooooo. Threeeeeee."


Letters -
Jaynie will ask for "ABC's!", and can recite them up to G. If you sing, she'll sing along at odd places - like she knows "Y and Z!" She's also starting to be able to recognize A, B, and C written out.


Body Parts -
She knows head, hair, face, ears, eyes, nose, mouth, forehead, eyebrows, tongue, teeth, cheeks, chin, neck, shoulders, back, chest, belly/tummy, arms, elbows, hands, fingers, butt, legs, knees, feet, and toes. Yesterday she came up to me and did "Heeeeaaad.... knees and toes". She totally skips shoulders, but it's pretty impressive nonetheless. She also has started saying "Mommy's BIG belly!" instead of just "Mommy's belly". Everyone's a critic.


Table Manners -
Jaynie is totally capable of eating with a fork. It's just, most of the time, she chooses not to. She's slowly figuring out the spoon (For a long time she'd just try to spear whatever it was, as if she was using a fork. Not a really effective way to eat yogurt.) I've started giving her a little bowl of ice cream a couple of times a week - I've found that this is really helping with the spoon thing. Seemed all she needed was proper motivation. She feeds herself 100% of the time, even if it is with her hands. She also drinks from a straw like a champ, and is getting better and better at drinking from a normal cup, or out of a water bottle.


Locomotion -
Jaynie can walk, run, dance, evade me by ducking and moving out of reach, spin around, climb onto anything, give hugs, kisses, "swim" in the pool, clap, kick, stomp, wave hi and bye bye, and basically get into and onto everything in the house. She hasn't mastered jumping yet - one foot always stays on the ground (which is actually really, really cute.)


Communication -
Everywhere we go, other parents say to us "Wow. She's talking really well for her age!" A normal conversation will go something like "Mommy open crackers please." (while holding out the zip-lock), or "All done Wiggles (stupid kid show). Hi-Five (other stupid kid show) please!" She's also great at memorization. She will "read" you entire books if she's heard them often enough. Moo, Baa, La La La is the best. She just kind of skips the words she doesn't know, but if you are familiar with it you can totally recognize what she's saying.

She knows animal noises for just about every animal on the planet. Even ones that don't make noise (Example - did you know that the correct answer to "What does the turtle say?" is to make kissy noises? Who knew!)

She's beyond asking to watch a movie. These days, she'll ask me for a specific movie or show, sometimes even for a specific part. The ones she watches regularly (there's a few Sesame Street videos that generally get turned on once a day around here) she knows dialogue, too. She'll be sitting there, happily chatting along with Big Bird, doing all of Grover's lines - it's a riot.


Memory -
Jaynie remembers the people we visited in Florida last month, and will call them by the correct names when she sees a picture. She will remember if I told her she can have ice cream after her nap (and wake up going "Eye Beam! Eye BEAM!") Twice now she has recognized a picture of a baby when I've only told her who that was once. Both stories are identical - she's pointing and saying a word over and over that I can't figure out. Finally she gives me another hint ("Alex pink hat!" "Dakota green bow!") and I get it. She's calling the baby by name. (It should be mentioned that while she sees Alex regularly, this is a pic from last winter and she's unrecognizable as a little muffin swamped by a hat and binky. Dakota she has never actually met, just seen a picture and (apparently!) remembered the name.)


Musical Talents -
One day she started singing and she really hasn't stopped yet. We tend to listen to the same few kid cd's in the car and in her room over and over. A couple of weeks ago she started singing along. Turns out she's really been paying attention, because she knows all the songs. She may not get every word right, but she nails the number of syllables, and she's actually usually in tune. Now she's starting to sing on her own, without the background music. Favorites include Twinkle Twinkle, Baa Baa Black Sheep, and Three Blind Mice. You have not lived until you've heard this kid say "Yes sir, yes sir, three bags full!" So freaking cute. She also dances like a fiend when the mood strikes her. Sometimes, there is no music playing. I guess she hears it in her head.


Vehicle Recognition -
Jaynie can spot "Mommy's car" or "Daddy's car" from a block away. In fact, there was one day a couple of weeks ago that we were pulling into a restaurant parking lot when she yelled "DADDY'S CAR!!!" Turns out Joe was eating lunch there, too. Good thing she spotted it, we might have missed him! When asked, she'll let you know that Daddy's car goes "hoot hoot" and Mommy's car goes "VROOM VROOM!" Joe says "Well - it does have those two extra cylinders."

She also loves to "drive" either car, while they're parked in the driveway. She'll turn the wheel, push all the buttons on the dash, turn all the dials, demand that the radio be playing and then mess with the volume... it's a good time.

Sense of Humor -
This kid cracks herself up. Sometimes, when you ask her for a purple block, she'll bring you a yellow one... then just watch you like "Do you notice anything strange about that block, Mommy?" Then crack up and give me the right one. Also, she laughs at all the appropriate places during her movies. Unfortunately, she also thinks it's hysterical when she either passes gas or burps. She'll laugh then try and do it again. Great.


Fashion Sense -
Jaynie has definite ideas about what she wants to wear every day. If I flat out ask "What do you want to wear today?", a lot of times she'll have an answer. ("Flower dress! Turtle shirt! Dorable outfit!") If I give her choices, she'll really give it some thought before picking. In fact, she likes to hold a shirt or dress up to herself and look in the mirror. I am not making this up. She'll kind of tuck it under her chin and wander off to admire herself.

If I'm folding laundry, or going through some new clothes, or in any way flaunting cute stuff in front of her she'll demand to be changed into the new outfit. She grabs at what she's wearing and announces "ALL DONE!", while simultaniously trying to put the new item on.

She likes to pick out her own shoes. Some days, this spells fashion disaster. Some days, she surprises me. (Last week she was wearing a dress and pink sandals. She saw a purple outfit that she simply HAD to be changed into. A few minutes later I find her in her room, pink sandals off, attempting to put on her new purple ones. Holy cow - she's better at coordinating a look than her father.)

One last thing should be mentioned here - the kid now owns five pairs of sunglasses. (I only have two! What is wrong with this picture?) Every day she lets me know which ones she wants to wear. Sometimes, what she wants are "Daddy's orange glasses!" (big wrap-around shades) that look absolutely ridiculously cute on her. She's a glasses hog - five pairs just aren't enough for a fashionista like her.


I think that's it. And now, I'll leave you with a nice story....

The other day Jaynie heard someone pass gas. She got all excited, looked around, and shouted at the top of her lungs.... "DADDY!!!!!" That's my girl.

Busted by a one-year-old

Last weekend, we went out for a late lunch at Olive Garden and stuffed our faces. I knew that Jaynie would not be particularly hungry 2 hours later for dinner. For Joe and I it was easy - we just waited till we got hungry later. But for Madam, who needs to be in bed before 7pm or she turns into a pumpkin? No late dinner for her.

So, I tried to get her to eat, and to supplement her tiny meal I gave her one of my Ensure Healthy Mom shakes instead of plain milk. It's made for pregnant women with tons of calcium and iron etc, so I figured it would at least be something.

I gave it to her in a cup with a straw, and said "Here honey - try this! It's yummy! A chocolate shake!" She looked pretty suspicious, but took a few sips anyway (she trusts me!)

One sip... puzzled face. Two sips.... happy face. Three sips.... and out it comes...

"DADDY'S MILK!"


(Later that day)

Me: Joe, have you been giving the Twinkie chocolate milk?

Joe: Noooooooo....

Me: Really? Because when I gave her a chocolate shake today, she called it "Daddy's milk".

Joe: Uhhhh.....

(He's still denying this, but it seems pretty incriminating to me. He's claiming that Jaynie, the toddler, is "framing" him.)




On that same note... (lots of ..... dot dot dots...... in this post)

Today Madam is on the changing table, bitching and moaning about getting her diaper changed. I ask her to show me her foot, and we're off. She shows me her eyes, her nose, her ears, her cheek, her mouth.... then she sticks her finger WAAAAAAAAAY up her nose (I think the second knuckle disappeared for a second) and says...

... wait for it....

"DADDY'S NOSE!"

He really needs to watch himself. She is paying attention to EVERYTHING.

While I was typing that last one....

She walked up to me, buck naked, with her diaper on her head.

Leavin' on a jet plane....

Here is a good thing to know - when you are traveling alone with a toddler, and you look like you are having the least little bit of difficulty, 4,200 people will stop to help you. It probably helps if you look approx. 16 months pregnant. Seriously - I thought it would be a nightmare (just trying to carry my diaper bag, the carseat, and Jaynie through an airport... oy), but I never had to struggle. There was always someone taking the carseat away from me, helping me get it strapped down, helping me stow my bags, etc. The airline people moved us to the very front of the plane so I wouldn't have to fight my way down the aisle. Everything went a lot smoother and easier than I ever could've hoped or imagined.

Also - I was seriously resenting spending $200 on a ticket for Madam, but it was sooooooooooo worth it. Her having her own seat, strapped down, not in my lap, not squirming around trying to be free.... ahhhh. Heaven. She actually napped for her full 2 hours because she was in the seat and not being held down. dheygtzsdz (Sorry - walked away from the computer for a minute and Jaynie took the opportunity to add a little something to this entry. )

We had many adventures in Florida - she did many cute and wonderful things. As soon as she stops yelling at me, riding the cat, and making long distance calls on my phone I'll sit down and try to write some down.

This is me. This is me having a heart attack.

So, I'm sitting here trying to update the website (Let this story be a lesson to all of you who have been harrassing me about it. Suz. ), and Jaynie is running around the house. She comes by, gives me a brief "tickle tickle tickle", then runs away laughing. I know how this game works. I chase her down, (very gently, of course) throw her to the ground, and start tickling/kissing her. I notice she has her romper unsnapped, and when I go to chomp a thigh I make a very alarming discovery.

She is not wearing a diaper.

You read that right. The kid is running around naked from the waist down. When I could breathe again, I asked her "Jaynie? Where is your diaper?" and she said, and I quote, "Poop."

This was where I nearly had a heart attack.

I got a new diaper on her, snapped her up, went and got Joe, and we began the search. After about 10 min. he found a very wet, but thankfully poop-free, diaper. She had thrown it over the baby gate we have up that keeps her away from the kitchen trash. Holy cow. If she wanted a dry diaper, all she had to do was ask for it. Now, if you all will excuse me, I need to duct-tape her outfit closed, and finish updating the site.

Miss Sympathy

Last night Jaynie and I went to WalMart (an adventure in itself). While we were walking up and down the aisles we kept hearing a kid having an absolute nightmare of a fit. Every time he'd let out a yell Jaynie would look at me, and look around. We finally turn a corner and there they are - a very tired looking Mom with a screaming kid in the cart.

Screaming kid: "Waaaaaaaaaaah!"

Jaynie: (looking right into his face) "Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"

Now - if you think I'm saying that she started crying, too, you are wrong. What she was doing was mocking him. I know this because immediately after the "wah" she looked at me and cracked up. This one is never going to be a peer counselor.

Monkey Girl

I've been calling the kid a monkey, but it occurs to me that she's really more like a baby Spiderman.

We had this house Jaynie-proofed. It was safe to leave her unattended in just about any room. Not that we left her alone a lot, but it was nice to occasionally go to the bathroom without an audience and not have to worry about what she was doing.

All that has changed, ever since she started moving around the house VERTICALLY.

She climbs anything and everything. She climbs the chairs to get on the dining room table. She climbs the bar stools to get on the kitchen counter. She climbs the futon to (attempt to) get on the windowsill where George is napping. Her greatest climbing feat, however, had to be the changing table.

She's in her room, Joe and I are in the dining room. I'm showing him the broken pieces of some cute little ceramic pots that she climbed up and destroyed earlier that day. I say to him "You should probably go see what she's up to right now - it's awfully quiet in there." and he says (naively) "She's in her room - she can't destroy anything."

A few minutes later he goes in and I hear "Jennifer? Why is her lotion on the floor?" Apparently, he found her squirting lotion onto her belly and rubbing it in (all the while, chanting "lotion! lotion!"), and assumed I had left it where she could reach. Well - I hadn't.

Me: "Ummmm... did she climb the changing table to get it?" (We keep lotions, ointments, wipes, etc on a little shelf that is mounted to the wall ABOVE the changing table. Seriously - it's got to be almost 6 feet off the ground - I have to reach up for stuff.)

Joe: (Makes some kind of disbelieving snort. He's so sure that I left it out and just forgot.)

So, we put the lotion back where it belongs, sit back, and watch. We watch our little monkey climb the freaking table like it's a ladder, then stand on the pad, reach up, get the lotion, and start to climb back down.

Nothing is safe. Nothing.

Belly Post

As those of you lucky enough to have seen my most recent pics know, I am ginormous for a woman who is only about 3 months pregnant. Seriously huge. Noticably pregnant. I already have people asking me "Is it a boy or a girl?", touching my belly, and letting me cut the bathroom line. At 15 weeks pg. Amazing.

Last night I went out with my friend Stacey, and her friend Stacey who is visiting from Florida. Stacey sees me walking out to the car and says "My God, you are SO PREGNANT" and I'm like "I know, I know" and she's like "Look at that BELLY!" and I'm like "Yes, yes, I know" and Florida Stacey says "How far along are you... like 6 months?" and Stacey cracks up and I say "Ummm... 3 months." and Florida Stacey (looking absolutely stunned, I might add) says "Wow. I was being polite. I figured she was ready to drop.

Oh. My. God.

Me!

When Joe gives Jaynie her bath, he uses the opportunity to teach her useful things like new signs, animal noises, how to count to ten, etc. When I give her the bath, I teach her that the correct answer to "Who's the prettiest girl?" is... "Me!"

Who can argue with that?

My Daughter, The Genius

Joe was home for a four day weekend last week, thanks to the 4th of July. During these four days he changed every single poopy diaper we had the misfortune to encounter. (My nausea has gotten SO MUCH WORSE in the second trimester. I'm pretty sure that's not the way it's supposed to work. Blegh.)

Tuesday rolls around, and my secret weapon against stinky diapers has to go back to work. Approximately 5 minutes after he leaves, Jaynie comes up to me and says "Poop!" (which was really unnessasary, as my eyes started watering when she got within 3 feet of me). She then looks around (here comes the genius part!) and says "Daddy?"

That's right, folks. Daddy is officially in charge of poop around here. When he's home she'll go right to him. "Poop! Daddy!" Sometimes she'll bring him a clean diaper, to help him understand exactly what she's trying to communicate (again - like the smell isn't enough to alert us).

How wonderful is this kid? Pretty freaking wonderful. =)

Product Endorsement

I know this blog is usually all Jaynie, all the time, but I want to take a moment and tell you all about some fab new products I have recently started using.

1st - the Mr. Clean MagicReach. It's wonderful. I can scrub every inch of my shower without actually being in it (I hate being trapped in there with the cleanser smell - although, I have to admit that this one has a nice orangey smell - so maybe it wouldn't be that bad.) I can scrub the floor without bending over (nice now, a must in a few months). My only beef is that the little scrubby pads you have to buy actually have the cleanser inside them. Doesn't sound so bad, but I thought this was just a tool and I'd be able to continue to buy whatever I had a coupon for or was on sale. Now I'm trapped getting these overpriced pads. Whatever - small price to pay if it means I actually clean my shower.

2nd - Barilla's new Pasta Plus. It's not made from your normal pasta ingredients. It's got ground up chickpeas and flaxseed and all kinds of stuff in it, so it has protein and fiber and omega-3's and all kinds of good things. I was hesitant to serve pasta made from ground legumes to the fam, but I just didn't mention it was any different and they both ate it no problem. I felt like those sneaky guys in the Foldger's commercials. "We've traded Joe's normal spaghetti for one made of beans! Let's see if he can tell the difference!"

That's all for now. As always, I'm a huge fan of Clorox wipes (a Mom's best friend!), but I was trying to focus on the new and innovative. Now, I'm off to take a shower in my sparkly, orange-scented stall. G'night!

Good Times

Jaynie is working on two molars, and at least one canine. This makes her very cranky.

I am almost, but not quite, in my second trimester. The hormones are making me very cranky.

Joe is painting the outside of the house. He hates to paint. You guessed it - cranky. (This gets extra bonus cranky points because when he gets home from work he goes straight outside and paints until dark. Soooooo, after I've been wrestling with Miss Crankypants all freaking day, trying not to start crying or yelling myself, I get no help before dinner (so I can actually cook it), no help during dinner (so I can actually eat it), no help after dinner with the bath (so I can clean up after it), no help no help no help with the little monster. Whoops - I mean with the little love of my life. The one that spends all day yelling at me and throwing food and sitting on the cats. That one.

Life in the Moore house is nothing but fun right now! Everyone should come for a visit! You know you want to!

The Trouble With Toothbrushes

First, I have to say that the word "toothbrushes" doesn't look right. Seems like it should be "teethbrush", or "toothbreesh", or something.

Anyway, here is the trouble with them - Jaynie is obsessed. Specifically, she is obsessed with mine. "Mommy Teef! Mommy Teef!" She wants my toothbrush, and she wants to run around and brush her teeth, and her ducks' teeth, and her dolls' teeth, and George's teeth, and her toes.... you get the picture.

The last time I got a new one, I joked with Joe that I would have to be careful and not let her see me use it. That way she'd still be happy with the old one. Wouldn't you know that I easily conned her into using "Mommy's toothbrush" for about a week until she saw me use the new one... then the old was no good. She'll push it away with the back of her hand and yell "ALL DONE!" if you try and give her any other than my (current!) brush.

Well - yesterday I got a new one. There was no joking this time - I planned to not get caught using it. Period.

So far I've used it once. Late last night after she was already asleep.

This morning she rejected my old one, and desperately pointed to the new. "Mommy Teef! Mommy Teef!" How does she do that?

Duh, Mom.

A few minutes ago, I was walking behind Jaynie and I put my hand on the back of her head. My fingers came back sticky and covered with goo. *

Me: Jaynie! What is in your hair?!

Jaynie: (reaching up to touch her hair elastic) Bow. ** (In the most "no DUH" voice imaginable)

This one's going to be soooo much fun as a teenager.



*Jaynie gets a little carried away with her cereal in the morning. She digs in and eats for the first few minutes, but after she takes the edge off she likes to wear some of it.

** Anything that goes in the hair is a "bow". Whether it be an actual bow, a tiny rubber band, a baby "scrunchie", whatever. Similarly - anything that goes on her head is a "hat". Hats, headbands, underpants... the list goes on and on.

Disaster Averted

Yesterday we went to a picnic. It was held in a pavillion, which means metal picnic tables on a concrete floor. (Funny - I never noticed how unsafe the world can be before I had a kid.)

Jaynie was climbing the bench of one of the tables (because that's what she does - she's a climber), and Joe and I were sitting there watching her like - "This can't be safe." So he moves over to sit right next to her, hands out in case she loses her balance.

The next thing I know my baby is falling the (what? 2 1/2 feet? seemed like at least 10 feet at the time) towards the concrete. She's falling straight back - she would've landed on her back and head. The look on her face is awful - such shock and fear. I am too far away (only a few feet, but it was happening so fast) to do anything.

Seriously - less than an inch away from the ground - her Dad catches her. I'm surprised he didn't scrape the back of his hand on the concrete - it was that close. Everyone around us broke into applause. I almost broke into tears. Jaynie started wailing and we could see that she bit her tongue (Joe swears she smacked her face on the bench on the way down, and that's when the bite happened. I didn't see a hit, and no red marks ever appeared - I think it was when he caught her. The world may never know.) A little ice and she was running around again.

If Grown-up-Jaynie is reading this, I just want you to know that no matter how difficult your Dad made your life as a teen (right now he seems to seriously believe he can keep you from dating till you're 30), he totally saved your bacon yesterday. So cut him some slack.

Soooo Opinionated

Yesterday I dressed Jaynie in a dress with fish on it. She was not pleased. She kept pulling it up and saying "All Done!", and I kept telling her that no, she wasn't. She wanted to put her kitty pj's back on ("meow! meOW!"), but that wasn't going to happen.

About an hour later when I finally get dressed, I put on a sundress with flowers. She goes nuts sniffing (sign for "flower") and pointing. After a few minutes of this she starts sniffing then patting her own chest. Then she's sniffing, trying to say "flower", and smacking her chest. Then she's doing these things but also throwing in a few "ALL DONE!"s while pulling at the fish dress.

So I changed her into a sundress with flowers on it. Joe thought the whole thing was hysterical.



Today I'm asking her "What do you want to wear today?", and she starts sniffing. So I'm digging through her drawer and come up with this cute, but kind of silly-babyish, pink gingham sunsuit with a big flower on the front. I hold it up and ask "Do you want to wear this? It has a flower." and she gives me the most amazing, grow-up, look of disgust. It was the funniest thing. She's looking at it like a teenager looks at her dad in socks and sandals. "You want me to wear THAT?!"


She ended up in her turtle outfit, instead. I get the feeling I'm in for a bumpy ride with this one.

Fun With Water

Jaynie and I got Joe a pressure cleaner for Father's day.

I was a little worried about this gift. It didn't have anything to do with Jaynie, or with being a father. It wasn't... fun. After my fabulous spa day gift for Mother's day, I was feeling the pressure to really come up with something good.

I don't know why I was worried. Joe set it up a couple hours ago and has not turned the hose off since. He started with my car, then did the sidewalk and porch steps, then the porch - who knows what he's cleaning now. He actually turned to me and said (in a total little kid excited on his birthday voice) "How have I gone this long without one of these things?!?"

Today I finally bought Jaynie a blow-up pool. I don't know what I've been waiting for. If she had the vocabulary, she would say the same thing her Dad did ("How have I survived without this?") She looooves it. It's shaped like an elephant, and if you plug your hose into it (that is, if you can wrestle the hose away from your overzealous pressure-cleaning father), water squirts out of the tail all over you. I had her in her polka-dot bikini, in the pool, out in the front yard. She was cracking the neighbors up.

We just got back from a vacation to Fort Walton Beach, FL. She had such a blast on the beach and at the pool - I knew I had to do something around here. The lawn sprinkler just wasn't cutting it.

Whoops

I just realized that the last holiday I recorded in Jaynie's baby book was Halloween. That's right - it's nearly July and I haven't put down one word about Thanksgiving, Christmas, or her birthday. Nice. I'd better get on that while I can still vaguely remember the details. Good thing Joe marked the dates on our calander when she started crawling, walking, etc. I suck at this preserving memories thing. What's she gonna have when she grows up to look at? A blog about poop.

Oh My!

My title choice reminds me of one of the cutest things Jaynie does. Joe taught it to her while giving her the bath. He says "Lions and tigers and bears!" and she says "Oh my!". It is freaking adorable.

This is not what this post is about. This is not going to be an adorable post. This is not going to be a story that makes you jealous and wish you were here with this kiddo. This is not going to make you want a little trouble-maker of your own. This will make you glad you live in another state....

This morning Jaynie woke up at about 6:20. I have a policy that strictly forbids rushing in to get her when she wakes up before 7am. I have found in the past that if I went straight in at 6:20, tomorrow she'd wake up at 6:10, the next day at 6, and so on and so forth. If I make her wait a bit, most of the time she falls back asleep. 6:20 is just too early for anyone to be getting up.

So she calls me a couple of times, then there's silence while she plays with her toys. Then she whines a little, then there's more silence. This goes on for about 30 minutes. I'm lying there thinking "Why doesn't she just go back to sleep?" Finally she starts crying a very sad, tired-sounding cry, and Joe gets up. I'm talking to her from the bed "Twinkie! Daddy's coming! Are you ready to get up?" And he's walking into the room. This is what I hear...

"Hey Twi....." GASP! "Jennifer! Get in here!"

I walk in to find a diaperless baby, and poop everywhere.

I won't go into detail here, let's just say it was hands-down the grossest thing EVER. The lack of diaper is still a mystery. She was wearing a one-piece romper to bed, and it was still snapped up, but her diaper was laying in the crib. Both tabs were still fastened,(Which was good, because the first thing Joe said was "Maybe you didn't fasten it good enough last night." Sheesh.) but one of them had come loose from the side, and I guess it just fell out the leg hole of her romper when she stood up? I don't know. All I know is that after losing the diaper she evidentally peed twice and pooped once. And then smeared it all over the freaking crib. Ooh, sorry, I said no details.

Two baths, a shower, and an entire Cloroxing of her room later, and life is back to normal. Well, as normal as it can be after seeing something like that. Eeeesh. Even though I personally scrubbed her feet with soap and water 3 times this morning, I'm having a real hard time kissing them today. Yuck yuck yuck.

Hug your already potty-trained kids extra tight today.

Disaster averted

I've just come from changing a poopy diaper.* (Well - I threw it out and washed my hands first, but whatever - it was in the last 5 min.) I opened that sucker up and saw bright red, and almost had a heart attack. Omigod what is wrong with my baby is she bleeding something's the matter there's blood in her poop oh no what do I do what does this mean omigod omigod omigod.

Then I saw the blue and realized I was looking at the crayons she ate yesterday.







*I feel like my life didn't used to be so wrapped up in someone else's poop and pee and puke and snot, it's hard to remember clearly. Will it be like that again someday? When the only person's poop I have to worry about is my own? Hmmm. Hard to imagine.