Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Exactly how I feel.

Today Jaynie was being the "Mommy Princess" and all her princess dolls were her babies. She has Belle, Snow White, Cinderella, and Ariel. (Spoiled!)

She was rocking them and feeding them and reading them stories and putting them down for naps... at one point she climbed into bed with them (!!!!!!!) to "snuggle my kiddos". It was all very awwwwwwwwwww.

Then she comes up to me and says "Mommy? My babies make my heart dance and sing."

Where does she get this? I practically teared up. I had Fat Jonas in my lap, Mommy Princess Jaynie standing in front of us wearing her ballet skirt, a sparkly pink shirt, and nothing else (I realized this when she walked away and I totally saw tush) telling me her kiddos made her heart dance and sing. I can think of no better description. Jayne? You're exhausting, but you're sooooooo worth it. =)

DAD! DAD? DAAAAD!

Joe is TDY. He's been gone since Friday.

For the first few days, Jonas didn't seem to notice. I mean, maybe he did, but who can tell? Well, we can tell now. Every evening he goes from room to room yelling "DAD! DAD? DAD! DAD! DAD?" It's pathetic.

He's not upset. He's not crying or anything, but he literally crawls all over the house, opening doors, yelling for his Dad. Whenever I open the kitchen door that leads to our balcony he hurries across the living room to get to me and look for Dad (the balcony overlooks our driveway and it's generally where the kids yell and greet him every night.)

He also says "Bye bye!" "check!" (Like this - Phone? Check! Keys? Check! Purse? (Jonas pipes up from my arms...) "CHECK!") "Jayneeeee", "Hi, you!" "Helloooooo" and, of course, "Bob". (That would be me. Sigh.)

The rest of you will no doubt find this funny...

But for those of us who live here? Exhausting.

Earlier today, Madam wanders into the kitchen while I'm making her some chocolate milk. Which she just asked for. And is now standing 3 feet from me, watching me stir in the Quik.

J: What are you making, Mommy?

M: Uh... the chocolate milk you just asked for?

J: Is it the kind you make with brown powder? Or my special kind? ("Special kind" = chocolate soy milk I buy for her.)

M: Um... do you see this brown powder, here?

J: Yes.

M: ....

J: ....

M: It's the brown powder kind, hello! This brown powder right here!

J: Why is it not my special kind?

M: Because we're all out.

J: Why are we all out?

M: Because you drank it all.

J: Why did I drink it all?

M:.....

J:......

M: Seriously?

J:.....

M: I don't know, Jayne. I guess you were thirsty?

J: Why was I thirsty?

M: [hands her the milk, walks out of the room, bangs head repeatedly against the wall.......]

Sunday, March 18, 2007

Ballet day and money in my pocket.

Yesterday was a good day. It was a good day for several reasons.

1) It was Saturday, and who doesn't love a Saturday? (Actually, I know the answer to this. Servers. Servers do not love a Saturday. But those of us who have left our restaurant days behind in favor of a Mon-Fri work week? We love a Saturday.) Daddy home all day? Hurrah!

2) There was a big community yard sale on base and I A) got rid of a ton of stuff that was taking up valuable space in the house and B) made $100. $100! Woo hoo!

3) It was the first day of Ballet class for the Twink. She woke up asking "IS IT BALLET DAY?!?!?" We got her dressed, told her to listen to her teacher, and hauled off to class.....


Jaynie admires her outfit in the big mirror, while waiting for class to start.

I couldn't be there (was busy hawking our old cd's - really - people will buy anything. Mr. Big? Sold.), but Joe took all these pictures for me. (Ok, and for you guys.)

Listening quietly to the teacher's instructions. Who is this kid?



We got the leotard and shoes from the thrift store (two bucks!), and didn't have any plain tights. So she got the rosebud ones. At the last minute she pleaded her case for wearing the foofy skirt. I told her she could wear it to class, but the teacher might ask her to take it off. We had a whole discussion about how ballerinas wear tu-tu's for "shows", but at class they just wear the leotard and tights and it was up to her teacher etcetcetc. Well, she came back to me after class and the first thing she told me was that the teacher had said "Of COURSE you can wear your skirt!"

You can clearly see the joy on her face here.


So if you are wondering what they teach three-year-olds in ballet, it apparently involved a lot of sitting...

Learning arm positions

There was also running on tip-toe (which is so stinking cute, I can't properly describe it), twirling with arms above the head, and "hopping like a frog".

There was one scary part - apparently towards the end of the class a terrorist somehow got into the studio and tried to join the girls...


Blurry, but you can see the danger approaching our tiny ballerinas...



Next week, she's planning to wear her hot-pink leopard-print leggings instead of the rose tights and skirt. Stay tuned for pics.

Friday, March 16, 2007

Truely pitiful confession time...

This morning I had my annual exam. TMI? Sorry. Here's the point...

I was SO FREAKING EXCITED to be going. Really, really delighted. Why? Because I got to leave the kids at home with Joe.

I mean, sure - once I was there they got me on a table and did unspeakable things to me, but the entire time? Nobody questioned me about a Disney princess ("Why is Belle's prince all hairy and Cinderella's is normal? Why does Ariel's Daddy break all her stuff? That's not nice! Why do the birds wear clothes? Our birds are naked! Why does Snow White eat the apple when the dwarfs told her to stay away from strangers? Why is sometimes her name Aurora, and sometimes Briar Rose? Why? Why? Why, Mommy, why?"), I was not required to sing any of the now SIX verses we know of Itsy Bitsy Spider, I was able to talk to the Dr. for as long as I needed, without once having to say "Can you please be quiet for just a minute? I'm almost done, I promise." Hell - you know what I did in the waiting room? I knit! That's right! I didn't read books and jingle my keys and search for binkies... And not once in the two hours I was gone did I hear the phrase "I need a snack and a drink!" or "This is kind of boring, Mommy." Heaven.



(It's really saying something that I so enjoyed a freaking exam. I guess I really, really shouldn't have skipped book club this month. Mommy needs a vacation.)

DADDY!

That's what Jonas yelled this morning, immediately after popping off the boob. He pins me down, has his way with me, then when he's done? Yells for Joe. It's like I'm not even in the room anymore.

Anyway - the "DADDY!" was so clear and understandable, that Joe went into Jaynie's room and asked if she had called him. Heh.

And did I mention that within 24 hours of her arrival, my Mom had Jonas saying "Gramma"?




As for me..... I'm still "Bob". Sigh.

36 steps

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I guess once you mosey down the hall without assistance (trying to get the toy your sister is deliberately keeping out of your reach), you are officially "walking". And therefore, officially a "toddler". Hmph.









(Seriously - WHY? WHY MUST HE BREAK MY HEART LIKE THIS? YOU ARE THE LAST BABY, DAMMIT! CAN'T YOU JUST LAY THERE AND LOOK CUTE? WHY MUST YOU GROW UP? Ugh. Any day now the "Why? Why? Why? will start. And I'll be dooooooomed.)

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Boobies

Last night at dinner, Jonas was cracking us up. He'll put a bite of food onto his fork, then make an airplane sound while putting it into his own mouth. Yeah - you're reading this correctly. HE stabs the food w/ the fork, HE moves the fork towards his mouth, HE feeds himself the food... but makes a WOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooo noise while he does it. It's hysterical.

So we're all laughing and he's eating and somehow the word "boobies" was used. I know, I know - at the dinner table? What are we doing discussing boobies at the dinner table? I honestly can't remember the context. Just skip over this part if it detracts from the cuteness about to follow...

So he stops what he's doing, and pulls his shirt away from his chest and looks down into it. It was kinda loose so practically his whole head disappeared. And we're all asking "Jonas - what are you doing buddy?" and he's looking down his shirt and babbling and finally he pulls his head out but sticks his hand down there and points to his nipple.

Boobies.

He doesn't know ear or belly or hand. He doesn't know mouth or head. He only gets "eye" right about half of the time. But add boobies to the list of body parts Jonas knows. He's starting with the important stuff. Who needs to know "chin", anyway?





(Julie - I totally had you going w/ that title, eh? ROLF.)

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Crunchy kids

Today is Joe's birthday (Happy birthday, Babe. Love you.) As it is also a Wednesday and therefore just a normal no-fun workday for him, we had his fake-birthday on Saturday. We had cake, there were presents, we flew a kite, bowled, shopped... it was fun.

I started the day by making buttermilk waffles. I did this for two reasons - 1) I had buttermilk and, really, what the hell else was I supposed to do with it? 2) Joe's not a huge fan of the crunchy whole-grain stuff I usually make. It was his "birthday" after all.

Here is my normal waffle recipe...

1 cup whole wheat flour
3/4 cups white flour
1 tbsp baking powder
1/4 tsp salt
lots of cinnamon (I let Jaynie do this part - there is no measurement. Just dump it in.)
1 tbsp milled flax seed
1 egg
1 1/4 cups milk
1/2 cups oil
1 cup unsweetened apple sauce
3 tbsp water (you could no doubt skip this and just add a little more milk)

Mix dry ingredients in a large bowl. Mix wet ingredients in medium bowl. Dump wet into dry. Voila.


This is some serious whole-grain goodness. Joe wouldn't eat these if he was on Lost and they fell off the mysterious supply plane.

So for his bday I used a basic buttermilk recipe. There was white flour in it. And vanilla. And even a little white sugar (I know - the horror.) I made my normal sized batch - enough for breakfast and then twice that much to put in the freezer.

The kids won't eat them.

I try to give one to Jaynie and she demands to know WHY this waffle is YELLOW!? I just want a BROWN waffle!

I give one to Jonas and he takes a bite, looks at me like I'm nuts, and throws it.



So - if anyone would like approximately two-dozen buttermilk waffles, lemme know.

He walks!

Well, maybe "walks" is stretching things a bit. But he definitely "steps". Like 6 or 7 at a time. He would be able to go further, but the act of walking so delights him that he can't just focus and do it. He starts laughing, then squealing, then clapping and waving his arms around... all this exuberance really wrecks havoc with his balance.

My little man. I am sooo not ready for this.

Monday, March 05, 2007

Three years ago...

(The following was originally posted in Madam's blog by accident. Now it's here, but 2 days late. Whatever - it's a miracle I'm able to dress myself every day, much less keep track of these blogs.)

I used to be Jennifer. I was a sister, daughter, wife, friend, cousin, grandchild, waitress, student, drama queen, painter, pain in the butt, slob... But three years ago I woke to a pop pop POP noise coming from my belly. I stood up and had one of those Hollywood movie moments where the water breaks and GUSH splashes all over the place. 10 hour later my Twinkie was born and gave me a new name. Mommy.

It's all I ever wanted to be. I never had big career aspirations. I went to college because it was expected, but I never hoped to be anything other than a stay-at-home-mom. And here I am. Living the dream. Of course, my dreams didn't involve *quite* so much poop.

Happy birthday, Twink. Thanks for making me a Mom. Love you.

Three times the fun.

The night before her birthday, Joe was explaining the concept of the birthday wish to Madam. He told her she'd have to close her eyes, and make a wish, then blow out the candles. He also told her that the most important thing was to not tell anyone the wish, or it won't come true. He said "People will ask you what you wished for - you just tell them you can't say or it won't come true. Got it?" She told him she understood, waited a beat, then spit out "I'M GOING TO WISH FOR A REAL CINDERELLA DRESS!" (If you are Aunty Suz, or anyone she bragged to, you already know this story will have a happy ending.)

So the Twink requested chocolate birthday cake for her birthday breakfast. Who am I to deny her? We woke up, I frosted the cake, we lit the candles and sang happy birthday. She closed her eyes tight, and said out loud "I wish for a REAL Cinderella dress! The kind she wears to the ball! And also glass slippers and a new light blue headband!", then she attempted to blow out the candles with her eyes still closed. We really need to work on the concept of the secret wish.

The cake was delish. Observe -
Yes - the first picture in Jaynie's birthday post is of her brother. And he's wearing one of her tiara's to boot. Life can be so unfair.

Anyway- after we were all sugared up it was time for presents! Woohoo! The Birthday Girl and I hunted all around the house for them. She was sure it would be a "BIG pile!" and that they would be easy to spot. Little did she know they were in the attic. Heh.

So she's opening and opening and opening. She got a princess chair, some dress-up stuff, games, clothes, a lunchbox (was supposed to be saved for when we started sending her to preschool - oops!), posters, music, a movie... the list goes on and on. She really cleaned up.

While she's opening, her brother is tearing around the room getting into as much trouble as possible, and he's starting to smell a little ripe. So Joe takes him out to change his diaper, and I suggest she sit in her chair for some pictures while we wait for Daddy to come back. She decides that what she really needs for the pictures is a present to hold in her lap and randomly selects a package from her big bag-o-loot.

The tissue paper falls away, and she's left holding the "dress of her dreams". Without Joe to see. Without the video camera running. I swear she does this on purpose.

So after this huge intake of breath, eyes wide, mouth in a happy "O", she yells "My wish came TRUE!" It was priceless. I got her to say it again for the camera, but it wasn't quite the same.

Here's Cinderella in her ridiculously cute dress, and ridiculously ridiculous wig.
Maybe I will get her to take it off before she goes away to college. Maybe.


After presents we walked to the weekly market (or, as the locals call it - the mercado) to buy bananas and "anything she wanted" since it was her birthday. This means she got a new pair of striped knee-socks. That's my girl. We also bought these balloons for the party -


By the way - if you are the one who sent this dress-up outfit, along with the mermaid one, speak up! Don't just send eBay purchases to our house without alerting us first. You know what happens when you don't take credit for cool presents? We take credit for them. Hee.

After shopping there was lunch, nap, frantic running around by me, and then.....






PARTY TIME! (Yes - I realize it's another picture of Jonas. Trust me, there will be more of the birthday girl later.)

We had a costume party at the park. If that doesn't say "good time", I don't know what does. We had costumed kids, bubbles, funny sunglasses...



Cupcakes...



(See - this is why I let the kids decorate them themselves. I could have never topped this. It's a work of pastry art.)

And was basically a rip-roaring good time. Here are some of the birthday girl herself...


Wearing her birthday sticker.


Looking anywhere but at the camera.


Showing me her chocolate teeth. (Really - vanilla is so much more photogenic. Why does my kid have to be a chocoholic?)


By the time we left we were all wiped out. Home to open all the presents (and wow did we get some great ones - thank you everybody!), have a quick dinner (ham and cheese quesadillas anyone?), and right to bed. For everybody. Seriously - I was in bed at 9pm and glad of it. Parties really take it out of me.

Happy happy birthday, my Twink. I still can't believe you're three.